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Tuesday, August 16, 2022

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Stupid City, U.S.A.

Police brutality reaches new highs & low hopes

Police brutality in the United Shtates of America looks far worse than this.

Latest Nonsense

Ghost of Edward Colston holds banquet in Priti Patel’s honour

Pretty Pathetic has been invited to a  “thank you” banquet feast hosted by the ghost of Edward Colston, whose statue was toppled down in Bristol in the midst of a protest that she called “utterly disgraceful”.

Johnson takes back control from PM Cummings

A major overhaul in the cabinet will change the entire approach to the pandemic, run by two centrally-run committees, the Telegraph reports. The committees will cover both strategic fuck-ups and operational denial.

McDonald’s launches new specialty – low-calorie apples

“Low-calorie apples are just the start,” McDonald's confirmed. The British variety will enter the market after the Brexit transition and will be “a semi-healthy option”, in which 'semi' means “incredibly healthy” in American English.

NHS staff will go out for a round of applause for Boris Johnson, Johnson confirms

A nation-wide initiative that showed the public's appreciation for the front-line workers will now end with a new NHS-only awareness-raising applause congratulating Boris Johnson and his cabinet ministers for a job well done.

SOLUTION: The homeless could buy themselves houses, Luke Hall suggests

After suggesting that rough sleepers could move in with their family or friends, Luke Hall, homelessness minister, admits that that was perhaps a little too rational on his part.