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Tuesday, July 5, 2022

SECTION

Health & Lifestyle

LIVE: Parents face public decapitation if they refuse to send children back to school

Parents who fail to send their children back to school worrying about coronavirus infection face hefty fines. But it has been reported that parents are in for an even costlier consequence – they could see themselves downsized quite disproportionately.

8 tips on how to get a smokin’ hot bod by Boris Johnson

There's still enough time to lose some weight this summer. But forget sweating while working out; you could get a stunning hot bod if you follow Boris Johnson's tips without making the big stretch.

McDonald’s launches new specialty – low-calorie apples

“Low-calorie apples are just the start,” McDonald's confirmed. The British variety will enter the market after the Brexit transition and will be “a semi-healthy option”, in which 'semi' means “incredibly healthy” in American English.

NHS staff will go out for a round of applause for Boris Johnson, Johnson confirms

A nation-wide initiative that showed the public's appreciation for the front-line workers will now end with a new NHS-only awareness-raising applause congratulating Boris Johnson and his cabinet ministers for a job well done.

UK lockdown: Virtual reality games to blame for too many husbands unintentionally beating the sh** out of their wives

There have been reports of an increase in cases of domestic violence due to lockdown measures and advice to stay at home. However, the latest research suggests that beating up your wife might be unintentional.

Latest Nonsense

Dominick Cummings had it coming.

#CoronaToiletPaper to the rescue. Need a Commercial or Non-Commercial license? Click HERE.  

Johnson takes back control from PM Cummings

A major overhaul in the cabinet will change the entire approach to the pandemic, run by two centrally-run committees, the Telegraph reports. The committees will cover both strategic fuck-ups and operational denial.

8 tips on how to get a smokin’ hot bod by Boris Johnson

There's still enough time to lose some weight this summer. But forget sweating while working out; you could get a stunning hot bod if you follow Boris Johnson's tips without making the big stretch.

Huge 6,7” iPhone 12 will come with 24 camera lenses to make sure company stays competitive and innovative

The company that invented hugely successful AirPower and stands behind the success of explodingly explosive MacBook batteries and bending iPhone 6's has got the next big thing.

LIVE: Parents face public decapitation if they refuse to send children back to school

Parents who fail to send their children back to school worrying about coronavirus infection face hefty fines. But it has been reported that parents are in for an even costlier consequence – they could see themselves downsized quite disproportionately.