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Friday, January 28, 2022

UK lockdown: Virtual reality games to blame for too many husbands unintentionally beating the sh** out of their wives

There have been reports of an increase in cases of domestic violence due to lockdown measures and advice to stay at home; as much as a 20% increase in England alone. However, the latest research suggests that beating up your wife might be unintentional.

“After organizing a little get together with my lads I always tend to intimidate my wife, it boosts my fragile ego,” says Larry Commons from Leeds.

But after Larry’s wife Susanne bought him a VR player with a bunch of virtual reality games, he knew the game had changed.

“I mean who doesn’t get a little riled up after a bad batch of cookies or knowing that Arsenal just doesn’t have a shot at winning the Premier League ever again. Susanne is just the closest to punch.”

“SUSANNE only ENDS UP IN the hospital if Larry uses a fully automatic M-16.”

Now that Susanne doesn’t have to worry about her husband throwing punches, she can relax a tad… by avoiding kicks whenever the game is on, which is about – the entire fu**ing day. Sometimes football, that’s when she gets one punch, or when he’s shooting the bad guys, that’s when she gets 2 or 3 consecutive punches.

But Susanne is strong; she only ends up in the hospital if Larry uses a fully automatic M-16 and that only happens after Level 10 in his first-person shooter video game.

Which begs the question: Are we really doing enough to make our wives even more miserable?

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