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Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Johnson takes back control from PM Cummings

Boris Johnson will now take direct control over PM Dominick Cummings by having no control over the two newly established committees. He will retain power and take back control regardless.

A major overhaul in the cabinet will change the entire approach to the pandemic, run by two centrally-run committees, the Telegraph reports. The committees will cover both strategic fuck-ups and operational denial.

The decision was published exclusively in the Daily Telegraph. That’s the newspaper that’s paying Johnson nearly £300,000 a year for engraving weekly lies into the minds of the British public.

“A little bird told Johnson that Cummings wasn’t elected,”

“Boris showed that he had one ounce of backbone left by not firing Cummings, but backing him when he flouted lockdown rules and travelled to his parents’ home in Durham. Or when he went to beauty spot Barnard Castle to check his eyesight”, one senior Tory MP told the Telegraph.

“A little bird told Johnson that Cummings wasn’t elected,” said Keir Starmer, Labour opposition leader. That was supposedly one of many shake-ups, including the setting up of two more committees which would weaken the influence of Cummings.

Johnson said that the public has enough common sense to know that he’s full of shit.

THE NEW SHAKE-UP

What will change besides Johnson taking back control from PM Cummings?

  • The Covid-19 weekend press conferences are now cancelled due to low ratings. And the word scrutinise is not in any way related to the cancellation.
  • The government said “it is imperative that the public understands social distancing”. That is why they will strengthen the easing of lockdown measures. If you can control the virus, that means you should stay at home. And if you can’t, it means you should do something about it. Like going to work using the packed Tube.
  • Firstly, we will wait for the pandemic to be over then get cracking on the virus outbreak. Like sending passengers entering the UK to quarantine for 2 weeks.
  • And creating 2 more committees. Just what we need.

 

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