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Tuesday, August 16, 2022

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Johnson takes back control from PM Cummings

A major overhaul in the cabinet will change the entire approach to the pandemic, run by two centrally-run committees, the Telegraph reports. The committees will cover both strategic fuck-ups and operational denial.

Latest Nonsense

LIVE: Parents face public decapitation if they refuse to send children back to school

Parents who fail to send their children back to school worrying about coronavirus infection face hefty fines. But it has been reported that parents are in for an even costlier consequence – they could see themselves downsized quite disproportionately.

8 tips on how to get a smokin’ hot bod by Boris Johnson

There's still enough time to lose some weight this summer. But forget sweating while working out; you could get a stunning hot bod if you follow Boris Johnson's tips without making the big stretch.

U-turns to be included in the next Tory manifesto

The next Conservative manifesto will also restore public trust, boost affordable housing, reinstate Public Health England, bring people back from the dead (Thatcher) and James Cleverly's and Priti Patel's favourite: make Ben and Jerry's ice cream less expensive.

The Process of Ending the Lockdown

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Ghost of Edward Colston holds banquet in Priti Patel’s honour

Pretty Pathetic has been invited to a  “thank you” banquet feast hosted by the ghost of Edward Colston, whose statue was toppled down in Bristol in the midst of a protest that she called “utterly disgraceful”.